Blog Version 12:
Butterflies/Flutter
1:53 AM
November 10, 2005
More thoughts...
Tired
I've been so tired lately. The sem hasn't even really started, and already I can feel the weariness in my bones. So this is how it feels... I was practically napping at the BA 3rd floor and in the tricycle with vigile, then I feel asleep in Sig's floor while waiting for her, my bag for a pillow. Z_z
Questions
And I noticed that I talk in questions when I'm really really nervous or embarrassed. Especially when I'm asking favors from people I'm not really close to. X_x And I mean talk in questions! It seems everything I say comes out with a question mark at the end. I dunno how to explain it, uncertainty maybe? Or maye i was worried I was crossing some border that I shouldn't. Or something. @_@
Tea
One regular morning, i was gonna be dropped off to school when my parents decided to stop by a coffee place. There I had a nice hot cup of green tea (which I didn't expect to like) but turned out to be really good. I don't really drink tea, especially not the hot variety, but my mom wanted to share her pot, so I did. It even smelled good. Interesting... I remember thinking just a few days earlier how the English find so much satisfaction in a cup of tea. Well, I admit i still am not crazy over tea, but at least now I find it okay. :D
Daughters
My mom accidentally slammed the door hard on me as I was getting into the car and she out of it. My mom was really apologetic and my dad got slightly mad at her. I wonder how my parents would act if they had a son? Definitely less overprotective, and I doubt they'd be patronizing or unfair in the chauvinistic(?) sense. My cousins' family, for instance, a mix of 2 boys and a girl, gives greater preference and protection to the daughter, as well as a little more responsibility. It's kind of cute. ^^
Grades
I showed my parents my classcards for this sem. It was arranged with my favorites above, my hatest ones below. At first they were pleased with my grades and stuff, till they got to the bottom. Shame on the very cardboard cursed to hold these grades! Apparently, my two hatest subjects also hold my two hatest grades. My favorite was not the highest, in fact it was just a grade higher than my lowest. That leaves the highest marks immediately above the low ones. Bad, bad, bad combination! My parents must have been surprised by the big contrast. They weren't really low, as Vigile consoled, but it was low enough I guess... (Ivan said I talk about my grades a lot, I guess I do. ^_^)
Money
I'm all out. My allowance for the week is drained, so much so that I worry I won't even have enough COINS to get home. Oh well... I've been commuting lately, and it seems I will be doing so a LOT for the rest of the sem. Oh well...
Haggard
The term Vigile has recently adopted. Probably because I lack rest, but my brains seem all over the place lately. Scattered, I mean. ^^ I forgot my classcard in the morning (which was a shame cause the RVC actually made an allowance to let me into the advising room before lunchbreak), then I forgot my pen during the advising, so I couldn't write my form 5 and I had to step out (-__-), then I left my Form 5a in the BA council table, so I couldn't get my library clearance. Stupid. Tsk, tsk...
Books
I'm getting REALLY REALLY book-crazy lately. I actually spent more than half my allowance on a book in the AS walk, Good Omens. That's the first one I bought for myself in that stall. And it was kind of expensive, despite the discount. So here now is the reason behind my abrupt (and hopefully short-lived) bankruptcy. I hope its a good book. Recently, I've also been visiting National a lot too. Maybe a little too much for my pocket to handle. I'm eyeing another book, the last copy of something, and its at least a little cheaper than the regular. But since I can't afford it, I have to wait a little while. *hopes it's still there in the shelves of the bookstore*
Schedule
As hard as we tried to coordinate, Vigile, Sig and I did not manage to get a single class together. But I can't complain. They probably have a lot of other things in mind. Sad though. This sem holds my last GE and I have no free electives, so after this, we really won't be seeing much of each other. Plus, our free times don't even match. Perhaps our luck and imeccable skill at timing has run out. Or at least, is running low? Afterall, I did get everything on CRS, though I didn't get the schedules I wanted. >_< But I can't complain. I didn't have to suffer hell with the endless lines of people and hours of waiting for these subjects. I just hope they're fine. PAyment also went well, less than 15 minutes, which was fast, if you ask me. But i can't help but feel a little annoyed...
On the Origin of Man
It's cool cause National Geographic featured this topic under a slightly different light than the usual. They did it in biblical terms with a mix of science, other than the usual science terms, mixed with a little religion or sometimes even none at all. Here's how it goes: God created man, and he did in Africa (Adam is Black). BUT, he created several Adams, holder of the XY chromosome, and it just so happened that one particular "Adam" developed to what we are. Eve was some chromosome variation, XX, giving way to the metaphor, "From the rib of Adam". Adam and Eve reproduced and mutliplied, and eventually their offspring spread out throughout the globe, as the bible says Cain and the other sons and daughters did, and it is the difference in climate that caused the differences in skin color. Pale skin for cold climate because this is less prone to frostbite, tan skin in tropical climates (or darker) because this is more resistant to sunburns. Other variations such as body structure etc are also explained by the climate of an area.
Hehehe... So Adam is Black huh? Apparently there is a particular race of black-skinned people (specifically in the area the Human race is said to originate - Interesting ne?) who have beautiful features.... And so on and so forth. ^^ New insights and theories are sometimes refreshing huh?
Voices
I've always noticed something weird about my voice. I can't seem to place it as either an alto or a soprano. <_< Sometimes, when I'm serious or tired or something, my voice comes out in a sort of low pitch, while at other times, like when i'm happy or excited or something, it comes out kind of high pitched. 0_0 And at times, it gets so high I think I would classify it as shrill. X( But most of the time, I think my speaking voice sort of lies on the border, and classifying it through song is just as futile. I can't really put much strength into it when singing (for some weird reason), and it also depends on the song. And at that, my singing voice isn't exactly notable anyway. But moving on, my voice is rather unplacable. Its just what it is when I hear it, my voice, and sure that gives me answers. And it also seems really expressive, apparently. 'o'~ But it's not really important anyway. I just noticed it one day. ^^
Hiding
Vigile says I'm pretty good at hiding my emotions, particularly the negative ones, but I think that fact is starting to get me into trouble. People begin reading into me, and sometimes, inexistent emotions are read. 0_0 For instance, they thought I disliked Dwelly the most. On the contrary, I have the least problems with him, but I guess having Vigile around when I'm with Dwelly causes me to treat him like I treat Vigile when I'm slightly feeling distant. Or so they say... I dunno. Sorry S if I was mean. Believe me that I seriously did not realize or intend to be like that.
A Little Problem
I guess I've found myself (and a some of my friends) amidst a little quandary. (Forgive the word usage, I picked it up from Series of Unfortunate Events. As childish as it seems, I actually got to learn a few new words there. Sabriel too if I had the patience.) I dunno how we'll fare at this point, or how we'll even go about it, but I hope it works out fine. I can't really imagine how, but I sincerely hope it will. For everyone.
Procrastinating
It's amazing... the things i do when I'm stressed and in the middle of something. Once, while studying for an acctg exam, I had an urge (and did act upon this urge) to make a small painting. the result wasn't spectacular or even worth describing, but it was still an interesting choice of activity. Another time, I went and rummaged through all my belongings to find a certain bracelet? (Somehow it's at times like these that I always notice that something is missing, and though I don't need it at the moment, I can't seem to rest without finding it). Tonight, I suddenly had this urge to look up some book passage, and I had to go look for the book under endless rows of shelves. And it took me a long time too, it always does, and I even found a lot of interesting books holed up in the back recesses of our library. Like Old Man in the Sea (upon vigile's recommendation), and other equally nice or interesting or attention-worthy books. So I ended up taking down the 12 or so books and replacing them at the back with other books so it'll all still fit, and then transferring them in front for easy access. --__-- Somehow, I seem to get the urge to do the longest, most unlikely task at that moment. Weird. Like for the painting thing, I had to go find the paint. 0_0 So it wasn't too accessible for the idea to just pop into my head and make me feel like doing it, like a book lying around that you casually pick up. It's pretty much random, and always time-consuming, but i usually end up doing it anyway. -_- For less stressful tasks, I usually end up just cleaning my things. Now that's pretty usual. ^^
School
School starts tomorrow. Officially. And sadly, not even stacy's schedule seems to fit perfectly into ours. I guess the extra luck we had last sem is making up for it with a vengeance. Also, I'm deciding whether to reaff in Optics or not. I'm pretty swamped, but if I don't, I'll have to in my third year, and who knows what kind of hell that'll be. X_x But for sure, I don't think I'll be adding another Org to my happy list this sem. It'll do me good, I bet. And I'll go back to training too, hopefully.
Typos
Again, I've noticed a lot. I have to admit, I often have to glance at the keyboard while typing, and although my typing speed has picked up, apparently my accurancy hasn't. I get a lot of letters interchanged or even missed altogether. Sorry about that. Besides, I'm especially tired now, and my fingers kind of hurt. Sorry... ^^
come fly ~ gen
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November 12, 2005 12:39 AM