whee~

Tired
10:25 PM December 04, 2006

I don't know why, but the dark circles under my eyes have become literally that. DARK. Really really dark. It's actually starting to turn into a slight shade of gray, which scared me when I first got to look at myself in the mirror. I look like a zombie or a very sick person. Tsk... And considering we just had a long weekend (5 days for the UP people) it's surprising that I came out of the short break with no homework, no progress in my assigned readings, and drained of all energy. Tomorrow, afternoon classes (1-4:30pm) are suspended for the convocation of the new student regent (?) and I think i'll take the time sleeping. Except I have classes before and after the cut-off hours. Baah! So i have to go to school at 10-11, then wait the rest of the long day for my 5:30-7 class. I really intend to go home. If i don't I'll probably drop dead with fatigue.

But if that were the case, then what the hell am I doing blogging right now? Well, before commuting home, I attended a meeting that required a dishing out of "juicy secrets" from the people in attendance. Knowing my life, I barely had anything to say. Except, I may have realized something.

Also, I'm beginning to notice more acutely a negative change in myself. I definitely practice less tact lately, if I don't feel like giving allowances, I won't. And I'll say it outright. I'm also more straightforward about the mean truths I come across. Plus I'm less cheery lately (although it could be that i'm just tired lately). And it's making me a really mean and cranky person. I think I can trace the origins of such changes to several things, one of the primary ones being that I'm not getting along very well with someone. And the aggression i feel towards this person is chanelling itself everywhere. 0_o And this person feels it I think. (I'll be so relieved when this sem is over. Orgs are hell sometimes.) The other factors could be my lack of sleep, stress, and the fact that I hang out too much with a person who is so easily teased. ~_~ I'm becoming evil. Tsk tsk... On top of it all, I recently developed a fondness for instrumental music. (Cause I downloaded the FFvii, KareKano and Suikoden Piano Collections recently.) Unfortunately, the nice ones are sad songs, and listening to them might probably contribute to my feeling down. ^^; Oh, and my house is being painted. The fumes must be getting into my head. X_x And I'm WAAAY delayed in schoolwork. -_-

I said my negative emotions may have been caused (in part) by my tiredness. But then again, it's possible that the reason why I'm so tired is that negative emotions are really draining. I'm really not sure if i'm getting crankier because I'm tired or more tired cause I'm getting aggravated by things. Whatever, it isn't pleasant. -_-

I'm reading a book right now, it's pretty intesting. A mystery in the 1800s involving an heirloom hidden in an old house supposedly haunted by old spirits. And the lead character is a lady scholar who is blamed for witchcraft. Except I can only read it when I have free time, which is not very often. I hope i can enjoy it this Christmas.

If i were put in a case where one person expects me to keep hold of a relationship or attachment, while that other person dallies around and expects me to do all the hanging on, whatever, don't expect much from me. If the other person seems to have stopped making an effort, I'm not likely to take that very well. Especially since I'm getting meaner lately. -_- Bleh..

I need to rest. Haaay... I'm beggining to look like L. Hehe..

come fly ~ gen

gen try mo yung cucumber. kung puffy na yung mata mo dahil sa eyebags. kung di naman puffy, concealer lang ang katapat niyan. :D hehehe

~ Anonymous | December 05, 2006 5:22 PM

sino si anonymous? 0_o I don't wear make-up yet. Hahah.. But I showed my hideous eye bags to my parents and they suggested cucumber too. ^^;

~ Gen | December 05, 2006 9:09 PM

lol tama concealer.... or pabayaan mo na lang yan :D for sure uso naman ang eye bags sa inyo diba? :D

ok lang yan gen :D rest ka na lang sa free time mo :D sleeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!! :D tsaka inom ka ng vitamins!!!! at kain ng orange!!!! :D

~ Anonymous | December 05, 2006 9:20 PM

gen, today lang ako nakapag hang out with you uli...at mejo nanibago nga ako sayo. ang cranky mo na talaga. O__o well, maybe not cranky, more...there's this gray aura around you...T_T tas mas slouched na ang posture mo ngayon...or maybe it's just the aura thats making you seem like you have drooping shoulders. :(

either you need some sort of physical excercise to release some of those endorfins, or hindi ka lang talaga hiyang sa kung ano man ang ginagawa mo.

wag mo pilitin sarili mo ha, baka mag manifest pa yan physically as a sickness or something. X__________________X HOPEFULLY NOT. have some fun naman. T___T

lets watch nga a movie sometime, the trio. maybe that'll help. :D

and i hope christmas vacation will help din. baka all you need is a good few days with all your cousins. :D

~ Vigile | December 06, 2006 1:41 AM