Power Dressing!
1:09 PM
January 28, 2007
I attended a power dressing seminar and discovered that I have a SQUARE-shaped face!! 0_0 Whaa? Wala lang... So my little caricatures of myself are more accurate than anyone gives me credit for. ^_^v
Dillydallying
11:23 AM
Again, I should be studying, but I was plagued by some weird lethargic mood that made me opt to sleep the whole day. I'd say it was worth it, but when I take the test tomorrow without studying, I probably will feel very differently.
Twinky the doggy has grown! @_@ She's now a big little doggy. ^^; She's supposed to look like a Doberman Pinscher, you know, big chested with a super small waist. But our little sister here, having been raised to be lazy like her oldest sister *cough*, has grown a belly. -_- So wrong. But when we're around, we just like to keep her on our laps, lazily lap-warming instead of jumping around like she would have done otherwise. ^^; Bad family huh? But she's so cute when she's sleeping. ^^; We (except Bern, quite surprisingly) love carrying her about. ^^; And she really likes humans. Once, one of our helpers was taking a nap on a mat on the floor, and Twinky crept up beside her and slept with her head sharing the pillow. ^^; Hehe...
And it's now CE WEEK!! Too bad I have a pretty busy week ahead. But I'm sure I can manage. ~_~
And the trio had dinner the other day, cleared a few things out, shared some shocking gossip *gasp!* and enjoyed a few dust balls every now and then. I have a feeling it's something Vigile might see as a short story opportunity. Well, if she does put it on paper and publish it with a work of other short stories, I'll be among the first in line to buy. Hehe... I'm pretty much a frustrated writer myself, and my favorite happens to be short stories as well. (I have no capacity whatsoever to write poems or plays, tsk.) Hey Vigile! We should start another writing project! I need a reason(/excuse) to write something!! >_<
And I want to watch Death Note! And the third season of House! And Tsubasa Chronicle Season 2!! And Basilisk!! And Grey's Anatomy! And Prisonbreak! >_< I want time, time, time!!!!!
Oh, i might as well mention, I tried passing around my resume to several companies that are open to internship and OJTs. I realized that my dream jobs aren't as open to me where I stand right now. I took a test in some magazine that's supposed to determine what kind of job will fit your personality. There's the: 1) Ideal Seeker (that's me!), 2) security seeker 3) knowledge seeker (Bianca and Vigile most likely) and 4) experience seeker.
Examples of appropriate jobs for each are:
Knowledge Seeker: software engineer, college prof, etc.
Experience Seeker: News reporter, event planner, chef, teacher
Security Seeker: Accountant, Bank Manager
Ideal Seeker: graphic artist, novelist, composer, magazine editor, etc.
And I admit I'd love doing those Ideal seeker jobs. But I have no means to do so. ^^; I suck at music, I have nothing to show for as a graphic artist against those Vince-like people of the world, who've been trained throughout college to do such things, etc, etc. Besides, if I graduate from an accounting course, who in their right mind would put me anywhere else in their company but in the supposed area of my expertise, accounting? That's life.
Strange, my lolo didn't want my dad to take up law cause he felt my dad didn't have what it takes, he wanted my dad to take up architecture or something involving art because my dad was good at those things, drawing, etc. Now, in my time, I have a dad who thinks I could have what it takes, unfortunately, I don't want to take up law. @_@ Ironic.
Need to study... Sorry about my recent blog entries. It's probably pretty obvious by now that I seem to have hit a crossroads-crisis. That's what happens when you don't know what you want in life. -_-
I didn't see the crossroads till I hit the road sign right in the middle of my naive head
11:08 PM
January 26, 2007
Gah! what a day! yesterday, for some strange reason i kept ranting about everything under the sun. (sorry to those I bothered) You'd have thought I was drunk, except from what I know I don't get talkative when I'm drunk, and I don't even touch liquor since I hate the very smell of it. -_-
Anyway, I had three classes that day, and joy! 2 of them were suspended! I was feeling all wretched cause someone suggested that our crappy exams would be returned, and I knew I'd be all depressed with the hopelessly flunking grades I'm likely to get. So on with the trail of depression!!
We started talking about OJTs and the discussion, as is inevitable, shifted to my low grades, especially relative to Vigile's and Bong's grades. Accounting, Stat, Kas, Law, Nat Sci, grawr! And so I slump further down the depressed isle.
And then Gil starts answering our 45 question homework, which I can't even begin cause I have yet to read the super long chapter it goes with. And I realized how delayed I must be. *gloomy*
Then, I took a free body fat analysis and was told that given my HEIGHT and AGE, I was OVERWEIGHT. @_@ Icing on top of a very horrible cake. I thought it was funny though. ^^;
And so I go back to the tambayan to rant about more things, which even got glecy surprised enough to comment on the extent of my self-pity. @_@
So I start stuffing myself with food and what not, cause there was a lot of left-over spaghetti in the tambayan. *weight gaining...* After my second overflowing plate, Aji and I started talking about books, and writing and stuff, and I realized: It's sad that I don't know what I want to be and do and stuff.
And finally, to explain that extra long title, I realized I should be going out there and scouting for a good OJT. But I don't know what I want to do, what I want to specialize in, where I want to work. -_- I didn't realize how fast things were going, that the cliff edge I was walking on is thinning, and I have to plunge down soon. Ah!!!
Dilemmas dilemmas. When you have no one specifically to tell, why not tell the whole faceless world? I wonder, should I tap my relatives to get a good OJT? Although, given my family's tendency for self-achievement and independence, and their strict monitoring of the next generations' every move and what not, I have a feeling that that's not even an option. My uncle works in some big firm as Sales and Marketing Director. He regularly keeps tabs on our grades and extracurricular activities, mine especially since I'm likely to go into his line of work. Making comments, giving tips, and in general looking like I haven't done enough. ;_; I don't think I can go to him and ask for work. Strict, achievement centered family. Tsk. I was actually told by an aunt that: "
Mahina ka pala eh. Tamad tamad nito." since at my age she had already been bookkeeping for her father, a CPA-lawyer. My best chances are to go find myself a good job on my own. -_-
My dad wants me to be a lawyer. Like hell
no! I'm not even good at law classes right now, and he and my grandfather topped the LAE, were both part of the top of their class and both got a really good rank in the bar. (My lolo actually ranked 4th). Who wants to have to follow that up? The standard is waaay too high. -_- Especially considering that my dad was working
full-time after graduating pre-law to pay for his own tuition. So in my time, if I don't do as well as either of them, then it'll be too my eternal shame, and i don't think I can handle the pressure. @_@ I won't even have an excuse for failing, since my dad was working and still did great, while I don't think I'll be expected to work yet. @_@
Facing the working world is really scary, and I think I haven't finished growing my backbone yet. -_-
i made a discovery...
11:38 PM
January 21, 2007
Do you know the feeling of instantly disliking someone for no good reason immediately after you meet him/her? It's unexplainable, since your dislike has no basis whatsoever, but there's just something about that person you really don't like. It's almost as if it's a repelling of auras or something. You two just don't mix perhaps. Do you know that feeling?
Strangely enough, I've just realized that this certain someone I know feels that way towards me. Or at least I think so, because I honestly sometimes feel that "instant-dislike-phenomena", so I know more or less a few of it's signs. It feels strange to experience this whole thing from the other side of the spectrum though, to be the disliked, rather than the one disliking. Obviously, it's bound to happen, but to be able to recognize it actually happening when it does just brings the obvious home much more painfully.
This person, who is usually rather nice to almost everyone, occasionally let's out bursts of irritation or annoyance at me every now and then, for no good reason. -_- I also believe that this person flunked me in our peer evaluation, despite the fact that I am always present and always try to do my share. I don't want to discuss more of my "evidence" any further, in case this person happens to chance upon my blog. X_x
Hmm... I admit I wasn't really fond of this person from the start either, but I've gotten over MY instant dislike eventually. This person, however, seems hellbent on continuing to dislike me. Fine then. At least I know who to avoid when selecting groupmates. -_-
Anyhow, my life so far has been, well, full of studying. @_@ Two weeks in a row I've been coming home to sit down and read my text books or answer my homework. And still, I'm delayed with my schoolwork. When will this end??? One of my blockmates admits to a great love for studying. But unfortunately, the same isn't the case with me. I like sleeping, watching DVDs or TV, playing with our doggy, or just lazing about the house doing whatever comes to mind. If this is how life will be till I graduate and end up in a life of corporate servitude, then heck what is the point of all this? Of life? When I start working, I'll have less time than I already have.
The more successful you want to be, the harder and longer you have to work, the less time you'll have for yourself. And eventually, working too long and hard results in not enjoying life and just letting it pass by, yada yada. (Hence the typical storyline of a successful workaholic who for some reason or another, imminent death or something like an odd friendship with a kid maybe, goes out to live the life s/he realized s/he has never lived. ~So it takes something as extreme as that to want to live life huh?) We're born, then we study to work to save money and then we die. We never stop to relax but continue to work hard instead, so we can buy ourselves an expensive mansion we won't get to stay in very often anyway, and to put our kids to school and help them follow the same path.
When do we get to enjoy the fruits of our hard work? Upon retirement? Or after a full day of work? Is a measly weekend going to be enough to compensate for hours and hours on end of work? But then of course, if you stray from this path, drop out of college, or fail to get a job, you starve and then die. It's hopeless, this path humanity has made it's lifetime routine. But there are exceptions of course. Let's just pray to be one of them, shall we?
I'm getting unintelligible aren't I?? ranting is not something one does well when one is hungry and stressed. sorry. you don't have to make sense out of these paragraphs I've written tonight, I just felt like bombarding my blog, since I'm too tired to get a pen and start a handwritten journal. And the chances of such a journal progressing is quite slim anyway, since I find writing even more tedious than typing, and see how little I blog.
Enough rants. sorry sorry. @_@ I'm gonna go eat something to eat. Then I'll sleep, leaving my homework and chapters undone and unread. @_@ Good night!
