whee~

i made a discovery...
11:38 PM January 21, 2007

Do you know the feeling of instantly disliking someone for no good reason immediately after you meet him/her? It's unexplainable, since your dislike has no basis whatsoever, but there's just something about that person you really don't like. It's almost as if it's a repelling of auras or something. You two just don't mix perhaps. Do you know that feeling?

Strangely enough, I've just realized that this certain someone I know feels that way towards me. Or at least I think so, because I honestly sometimes feel that "instant-dislike-phenomena", so I know more or less a few of it's signs. It feels strange to experience this whole thing from the other side of the spectrum though, to be the disliked, rather than the one disliking. Obviously, it's bound to happen, but to be able to recognize it actually happening when it does just brings the obvious home much more painfully.

This person, who is usually rather nice to almost everyone, occasionally let's out bursts of irritation or annoyance at me every now and then, for no good reason. -_- I also believe that this person flunked me in our peer evaluation, despite the fact that I am always present and always try to do my share. I don't want to discuss more of my "evidence" any further, in case this person happens to chance upon my blog. X_x

Hmm... I admit I wasn't really fond of this person from the start either, but I've gotten over MY instant dislike eventually. This person, however, seems hellbent on continuing to dislike me. Fine then. At least I know who to avoid when selecting groupmates. -_-

Anyhow, my life so far has been, well, full of studying. @_@ Two weeks in a row I've been coming home to sit down and read my text books or answer my homework. And still, I'm delayed with my schoolwork. When will this end??? One of my blockmates admits to a great love for studying. But unfortunately, the same isn't the case with me. I like sleeping, watching DVDs or TV, playing with our doggy, or just lazing about the house doing whatever comes to mind. If this is how life will be till I graduate and end up in a life of corporate servitude, then heck what is the point of all this? Of life? When I start working, I'll have less time than I already have.

The more successful you want to be, the harder and longer you have to work, the less time you'll have for yourself. And eventually, working too long and hard results in not enjoying life and just letting it pass by, yada yada. (Hence the typical storyline of a successful workaholic who for some reason or another, imminent death or something like an odd friendship with a kid maybe, goes out to live the life s/he realized s/he has never lived. ~So it takes something as extreme as that to want to live life huh?) We're born, then we study to work to save money and then we die. We never stop to relax but continue to work hard instead, so we can buy ourselves an expensive mansion we won't get to stay in very often anyway, and to put our kids to school and help them follow the same path.

When do we get to enjoy the fruits of our hard work? Upon retirement? Or after a full day of work? Is a measly weekend going to be enough to compensate for hours and hours on end of work? But then of course, if you stray from this path, drop out of college, or fail to get a job, you starve and then die. It's hopeless, this path humanity has made it's lifetime routine. But there are exceptions of course. Let's just pray to be one of them, shall we?

I'm getting unintelligible aren't I?? ranting is not something one does well when one is hungry and stressed. sorry. you don't have to make sense out of these paragraphs I've written tonight, I just felt like bombarding my blog, since I'm too tired to get a pen and start a handwritten journal. And the chances of such a journal progressing is quite slim anyway, since I find writing even more tedious than typing, and see how little I blog.

Enough rants. sorry sorry. @_@ I'm gonna go eat something to eat. Then I'll sleep, leaving my homework and chapters undone and unread. @_@ Good night!

come fly ~ gen

i think that's why people should go into disciplines that they enjoy...O_o hehehe

just think of it this way: when you're rich enough to live off the interest of your wealth (and let's hope if you work hard enough that will be when you're around your mid 30's) you can go see the world and travel. XD (that's my dream -- but on a measely proffessor's income it's probably not gonna go that way, you're more on the running to getting this dream gen. XD fulfill my dream for me!)

pressure bigla. hehe..

gen, if worst comes to worst, there's always LOA. :)

~ Vigile | January 22, 2007 11:43 PM

That's wAAAAAAy too extreme. @_@ The idea hasn't even crossed my mind. LOA?!? I'm not at my limit yet.

And don't give me that professor's income chatter. -_- I've never left the country and my family can't even afford the trip your family is about to take, despite the fact that my dad is a lawyer. Even in the rare cases that my dad gets a sponsored trip abroad, we still can't afford such luxuries, even for just 1 more person.

Besides, we have very different upbringings. I might be more inclined to save what i earn, because seeing the state my grandparents are in, I might as well anticipate such medical complications in the future, for my parents and myself.

One can't enjoy much luxury in the face of extreme necessity. :(

~ Gen | January 23, 2007 1:19 AM

tough luck gen.

I will agree on one thing gen, it IS in the upbringing.

~ Vigile | January 28, 2007 5:40 PM

Sometimes I can't tell if you guys are friends or not. And stop with the "I'm-gonna-be-poorer-than-you-so-you-shouldn't-feel-that-way" thing. We don't know if that's real/gonna be real and it doesn't help in any way. >_>

@Gen: Not all hope is lost. :) Best thing you can do is get as many recommendations or work experience you can get and apply to a job you might like. We're still young, lots of time to move around and try new things when we don't exactly mesh with what we have currently. Nobody needs to stay in one place and your course does not dictate your path in life. *huggles* From what I am hearing, the only thing really important is that piece of paper you get that proves you graduated, not what you studied. *shrugs* Don't despair Gen. :) I'm here for you. *huggles tighter*

~ Signia | February 02, 2007 10:51 PM